He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
