Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
