just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
