Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
