Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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