im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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