So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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