Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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