Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
