He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Couch. On fire.
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