Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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