Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
