but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
