Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
