And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
