I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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