what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
