dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
