When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
