I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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