my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
