in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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