Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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