he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
