we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I need to stop coming to work sober
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
