You're my little dorito
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
