the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
this is an emotional support booty call
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
