He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
