Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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