Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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