How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
