Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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