i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
