I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
