Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
