I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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