I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
