wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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