yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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