threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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