So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
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I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
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Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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