Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
