Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
