i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
