I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
