Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
