You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
