Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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