I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
