I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
