3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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