no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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