They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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