So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.