Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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