Kareoke will never be a sober sport
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
