We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
