Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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