69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
