I am puke
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
babies were throwing up all over the place
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
