Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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