i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize