We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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