we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
